Prostate Surgery
Early in my bodywork practice a man in his mid-sixties booked a session with me. He’d had prostate surgery 12 months earlier and his doctor’s advice was that he’d “never have sex again”. As a result of the surgery, he’d lost the ability to get an erection and couldn’t ejaculate. All sexual intimacy with his partner had ceased.
Ninety minutes later, with no erection and no ejaculation, he had his first all-body orgasm. I can only imagine the bravery it takes to successfully navigate prostate surgery only to discover that your penis no longer works as it did before the surgery. But my client’s experience illustrates the damage caused by a “medical” view of sex. Most doctors define sex as a hard penis penetrating a vagina. But if that was all there was to sex, we’d be a very bored bunch indeed. Sex is so much more!
Since that first client, I’ve seen many post-prostate surgery men. These men have been gay or straight, single or in long-term relationships, some with full or no erection. What all these men are dealing with is a lifetime of cultural disinformation that a man must always be erect and must always ejaculate in order to satisfy their partner and to achieve an orgasm. This myth is perpetuated by the porn industry, by mainstream media and in medical attitudes. A whole pharmaceutical industry has been built to sell us pills, injections and creams based on this myth.
Men and women, in every combination imaginable, have been having delicious, erotic, satisfying, orgasmic sex for millennia without needing an erect ejaculating penis! Sex is so much more than an erect penis. Our bodies are filled with pleasure centres – our neck, nipples, armpits, thighs, butt – that have nothing to do with our genitals. Using breath work, touch and movement we’ve been practicing non-genital orgasms for centuries. And these days there are a plethora of toys that we can play with to pleasure our partner or ourselves.
If you’re navigating sex after prostrate surgery, book a session with me. I would love to blow your mind on all the possibilities available to you - and your partner.
Did I say how much I love my job?
