Daddy ISSUES
There’s a man on my massage table and as I explore his body, I hear him softly moan “yes daddy”. It’s barely audible. Did he just call me “daddy”? I must have been mistaken. I begin to massage his butt and it’s louder this time. “Yes please daddy!” I reply “Have you been a good boy for daddy?” …
And so, quite spontaneously, role play often begins in my massage practice. It may be that the man on my massage table didn’t even realise he wanted to explore a daddy fantasy until those words escaped his lips.
Other men definitely know what role play they want to explore! For these men, role play is thoroughly planned and scripted. They may request that on arrival certain things happen, they are treated a certain way and are called certain names. In these situations, we plan the scenario beforehand so that the whole massage session – from arrival to finish – is part of the role play.
Then there’s something in the middle. A client may be exploring role play and will ask at the beginning of a massage if it’s something we can include. We’ll have a chat about the basic scenario and then allow the role play to spontaneously emerge – experimenting with what works and what doesn’t.
In my mind role play is a whole spectrum. I have a friend who has trained for years as a dominatrix. Dressed in latex or lingerie, she dominates and degrades her male clients in hours of sexual fantasy role play. Her attention to detail and unwavering focus on remaining in role astounds me. If my friend is at one end of the spectrum at the other end is something as simple as calling each other “daddy” and “boy”; putting on a leather harness, gym shorts or lace g-string (dressing up); or talking through an erotic scenario (verbal/visualisation).
Role play is a fantasy that happens in our head during a bodywork session. It can add to the erotic pleasure by adding an element of risk, taboo or fantasy that can enhance the physical pleasure happening in our body. It allows us to play with these elements of risk, taboo or fantasy in a safe consensual space.
Of course, when you call me “daddy”, I’m clearly not your father. Often, I’m not that much older than you. And when you call me “boy”, I’m not your son! We’re two consenting men, playing with roles of dominance and submission, experience and
naivety, doctor and patient, coach and athlete. We’re exploring a fantasy, reliving an erotic experience or trying on an aspect of our sexual personality that may not always have a safe space to emerge.
Did I say how much I love my job?
